As someone who enjoys visiting a different place and absolutely not ticking the box of seeing every single tourist attraction available, it mightn't be a wise idea that I should compose a travel review of Amsterdam, one of the top tourist destinations in Europe. However, I shall try my best.

My first port of call is to recommend getting a bike. Think of a horse shoe. Then, think of a Russian doll. As we all know, de-layering a Russian Doll only reveals a smaller carbon copy beneath its layer, and so on and so on. As with the Russian doll, Amsterdam city is built on a series on canals in the shape of horse shoes. The inner horse shoe is the city centre and the outer horse shoe is the perimeter between the city and its suburbs / outskirts. The outer horse shoe 'Prinsengracht' is the largest-spanning canal and, like the Russian doll, it encases a few miniature versions of itself before reaching its core, the city centre. If my analogy has confused you as much as it has confused me, just scrap the Russian doll bit and know that Amsterdam city is built on the land between four U-shaped canals, the end. ANYWAY, this was all leading to my point that the easiest way to nip around is on a bike, as most of the aforementioned canals are one-way, and thus not friendly for Ubers and the metro can never quite defy the laws of physics to bring you precisely where you need to go. If, like my parents, you haven't been on a bike since the summer of 69 or even ever, then honestly it's quite a compact and walkable city.

Next up, where should you go? This all depends on your interests. If you are interested in both traditional and modern art, you will fill your days easily. Art enthusiasts will probably already know that Rembrandt, Van Gogh, Mondrian and Vermeer all hail from the Netherlands, if I'm summating in immortal legacies and masterpieces. A day or even two spent in the various museums on Museumplein should see you straight. The Hague is only a 45 minute train journey away if you would like to come face-to-side profile with Girl with a Pearl Earring. I would really recommend the 'Nxt Museum' in Amsterdam Noord if you can be bothered to get a free 5 minute ferry to the other side of the port. The Nxt museum showcases immersive psychedelic light and sound installations.

If its weed you're after, then look no further than probably 500 metres from your accommodation. 'Coffee Shops' are two a penny and you can smoke wherever you like, within reason. Like don't smoke in a playground. Although if you do then be warned that the Dutch are extremely direct and will have no qualms putting you in check. My prejudices tell me that this review is leading in a 'lads holiday' direction, so I should probably do the obligatory mention of 'De Wallen' or the 'red light district' as the very literal and unpoetic english translation goes. De Wallen is where you can legally seek the services of a prostitute. As legal celebrated prostitution is a rather novel concept to most other places on earth, I can understand to a degree why your curiosities may lead you to this medieval part of the city. However it is really important to remember to be respectful and courteous, whether you are just walking by for a look or for other purposes. Keep your phone in your pocket and no guffawing and pointing and no dilly-dallying. Don't be immature.

Food-wise, it's a bit of a mixed bag. I would say that a lot of Dutch menus were created with the concept of satiating the hunger of a 15 stone man at 2am after multiple beers. Think stodge-y, carb-y, heavy. Their most famous 'delicacy' are bitterballen which are these croquette balls filled with unidentifiable meat-paste and to be dunked into mustard. However, if you sniff around neighbourhoods such as Jordaan and De Pijp, you will certainly come across quaint bakeries, coffee shops (in the true sense of the words) and wine shops. My experience is that these smaller speciality stores that you stumble across tend to be of higher quality generally than any restaurants you stumble across. My favourite restaurant I have been to is Alex & Pinard in Zeeburg where I had a religious experience with some lapsang souchong oil-soaked figs (https://www.instagram.com/p/CUW_O8foWrk/). If you have no other business that would bring you out to Zeeburg then their sister restaurant Bar Pif is in Jordaan which is a little more accessible. The bread in the foccacia from 'Levain et Le Vin' near Vondelpark is unmatched, and their canelé is one of my favourite things to eat. For pizza the mozzarella they use in La Perla in Jordaan is almost too premium for pizza? You may as well eat pizza in Amsterdam as you mightn't be exactly delighted with the dutch offerings. Get some herring from the Lindengracht Market if you're really determined to get into the swing of things. I also need to mention that the beer offerings everywhere are superb. My favourite is a Mort Subite kriek while people-watching from Papeneiland Café.

Otherwise, Amsterdam is an amazing city to ramble. You can buy just about anything, there are so many knick knack shops and speciality stores. I would recommend just setting aside a few hours on a Sunday and seeing what you stumble across. There's a Picasso in Vondelpark that's most notable for being unnoticed. There's a plaque to mark the spot where Anne Frank lived in hiding from the Nazis. There are plenty of canals to sit down soak in the atmosphere and relax. It's usually quite busy, and it's expensive but it has a lot of charm and is a really efficiently-run city. The buildings look like they're set to collapse but really they'll outlive all of us. Amsterdam is a fun and vibrant place which is welcoming to people from all paths of life, young or old. See you there!